Surviving an Unplanned Pregnancy

Many of us walking around today were complete surprises to our mothers and fathers. Despite the vast amount of information available on birth control, unplanned pregnancies still abound.

An unplanned pregnancy does not have to be a negative experience. We all have seen the billboard ads and TV shows where the unhappily pregnant mother chooses to give the baby up for adoption and everyone is better for it. While that is a legitimate option, many who have lived through the experience of an unplanned pregnancy will tell a different tale.

Mother Nature: A Blessing or a Curse?

As a woman progresses through her pregnancy, she experiences many changes. She experiences not only physical changes, hormonal changes, and changing in her eating habits, but her mind also goes through some remarkable changes. This is no different in unplanned pregnancies. Somehow, as the pregnancy progresses, the expectant mother finds herself repeatedly wondering about the baby growing in her uterus. She is overcome by feelings of love deeper than any she's ever experienced- all for someone she never even met. If the pregnancy was unexpected and unwanted, this can cause a conflict in the expectant mother.

Often the feelings of love and caring grow to nearly incapacitating levels at times and only seem to get worse the closer the mother gets to her due date. Many unhappy, unplanned pregnancies have culminated in a mother's heart melting into a puddle of mush as she holds her newborn for the first time. These feelings occur naturally to ensure that the helpless newborn will be cared for by the mother. If the mother has decided to give the child up for adoption, this can make the birth a time of doubts and fears. This is a completely expected reaction and most adoption agencies can provide counseling to help a mother prepare for this time.

Unplanned Does Not Equal Unloved

Unplanned pregnancies can create a variety of emotions in the expectant mother. These can range from anger, despair, depression, confusion, shame and shock one minute to joy, hope, love, optimism, and silliness the next. It's important that guilt over the negative feelings do not permeate the mother's thoughts. Emotions and thoughts are a powerful force and can affect the health of the mother and baby in both negative and positive ways.

If you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, you are far from alone. Help and support is only as far away as your local telephone directory. There are many pregnancy support services listed in the yellow pages and local churches or community centers may offer support groups or counseling to mothers and fathers in crisis. Given time, the fears that came with the news of your unwanted pregnancy may very well subside. Even parents who planned their pregnancies experience anxiety and uncertainty at times. Parenting is an awesome responsibility. Just ask any mother, she will be happy to tell you about it.